Never Never Lend

Nowadays, there's one pet peeve that irks me more than anything else and that is retrieving books from my friends. It's a hassle, that's why. And it should not be my obligation in the first place.

I usually let some of my friends borrow a volume or two from my collection in the hope of widening their reading preference. Encouraging your friends to read books for the sheer pleasure of it is a rewarding experience. It makes me feel somewhat accomplished. But what I hate is that 1) it takes months for them to finish a single one, and 2) they don't read it at all. Filipinos generally dislike asking people to return things, that's why it's just logical and prudent for the borrowers to return it as soon as they have finished it. But no, here, people just chuck the tomes into their shelves and forget about it and you, the owner, wait and wait for its "second coming". It's a paradox but it's reality.

What's more irritating is when you've follow-upped your friend to return it, that person delays the transaction for reasons ranging from non-reply to the Bermuda Triangle phenomenon. It's not funny and I feel they're taking my book hostage. That person would say, "Oh, I haven't finished reading it. I'm still at the first chapter." And I thought, "For three months now?" During that time, I just wished that the book will run away from that person's room and head back to my shelf where it belongs. It just shows how indifferent and disinterested these people are in reading your book. I think it's only right that if such a person cannot sustain his/her interest in finishing it, the only recourse is to return the damn book read or unread. Sad to say, in this ningas cogon country of ours, it does not happen.

Here's some solutions whenever your friends start forgetting what they've borrowed:
1. Text/Call them every week asking them if they've finished the book.
2. Remind them that your third cousin twice removed wants to borrow it.
3. Tell them that a lot of people finished it in one to two sittings, and that it's a shock for you to see that they can't do the same.
4. Inform them that a lot of readers' lives were changed after finishing the volume, and you'll help them change their lives if they don't finish it.

How to stop your friend from kidnapping your books:
1. NEVER LEND a single one. Too late for me to realize it.
2. Only lend those ratty editions that you're trying to dispose.
3. Lend them only the titles that you don't want to see again.
4. If you still let them borrow, ask them when can you expect it to be returned.
5. Lock your books in your fire-proof cabinet or bookshelf.

But the best answer is still: NO! Nein! Nunca! Non! Nyet!
Oh... that reminds me, I need to text my friend to remind her to return my Kite Runner.