Filipinas, Filipinas

Filipinas

Filipinas, Filipinas,
Where art thou, my country’s bride?
Have you gone deep into slumber?
In your shame you do now hide?

 

For today your children’s ember
hast lost their glorious past.
For none shall burn nor remember
In the season of your last.

 

This was a poem I wrote a couple of weeks ago, but it's still not yet finished. =) So far this is the first part pa lang... I am mulling over if I'm going to replace the last quatrain with this:

 

‘Tis centuries to still remember
the beauty of your past
but now ‘tis a bleak December
in the season of your last.

 

The rhythm fits but it lack a certain oomph! It's neither as regal nor as well-rounded as the first one, but I have a feeling I'm going to keep this too. And the next two quatrains goes on like this:

 

Filipinas, Filipinas,
Look! Your children gone astray
To the valley of the fallen

Your kindness they did betray.

 

Your mountaintops are barren
Your seas swelled with much debris
This infamy not be forgotten
In the annals of history.

 

However, the flow and sense I am not satisfied. I feel it's a bit mediocre and style not that convincing. The next quatrains shall soon follow I guess, perhaps in the coming days. We'll see.