July 27, 2004

Movie of the Toilet Bowl

I went to Robinson's Place today with Jorin and watched "King Arthur." I just realized the following:

1. The higher the budget for any historical fantasy Hollywood film is directly proportional in terms of the cheeziness, crappiness, corniness and stupidity of its acting and characters.

2. That any Euro-historical film done in English will sport that bloody English accent. No exceptions noted.

3. The more fantastical the story is, the more fantastical is the logic of its actors. Imagine just staring at your enemy when the ice beneath your feet has already cracked off. ... Or indulging in a piteous caterwauling of a speech about freedom, friendship and other stupidly profound subjects just as when the enemy is about to attack your fort.

4. You see one Roman-themed film, you've seen them all. If Maximus in Gladiator sported an impassive poker face, so will Artorius (Arthur) but more crappier. If you've seen Legolas, the elves, & Helms deep, then you will find it refreshing to find them recreated in King Arthur.

5. The "wear & tear" of costumes of historical films (especially Roman films) corresponds to the number of days of shooting. Roman armors after "so-called" countless battles remain spotless without dent or wrinkle. It's already bad enough that the acting is so fake.

Don't believe me? Go watch it!

6. The person two seats beside you clad in sando will intermittently expectorate into the floor fronting him. And you think these things do not happen. Only in the Philippines. People think that their P75 ticket aslo bought them the right to trash the place. ***sigh

1 comment:

Pia said...

Is it that bad? Whatever, I'm still watching it. I've been dying to see it for quite a while now. :)